ARROGANCE

While a good dose of arrogance can help you to arrive at your destination, it is the loneliest of roads that you will be taking to get there.

There is no doubt about it, if you are arrogant enough to back up whatever talent you have, that arrogance can help you to make it right to the very top. But there is, generally, a very heavy price to pay.

In 2007, Barry Bonds broke the record for home runs in baseball. His single-minded determination and his air of utter superiority over everybody was a factor in this, certainly.

But, right now, as he is facing a long stint in jail, very possibly, for lying to a federal court about taking steroids, he is probably asking himself, “Was it all worth it?”

And if he isn’t, I am asking it on his behalf.

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Arrogance is a contradiction and, ultimately, self-defeating.

If you really think that you are so amazing, how come you are all alone in the world? How come you are so afraid of people that you have to keep them all at a safe distance from you?

How come you are so desperate to make it?

What? You can’t deal with being just the same as everyone else? Having the same frailties and fragilities? What a happy, balanced, well-adjusted person you must be …

If you really were so amazing you would want everyone to share in your success. And not just the two people in the world who haven’t pissed you off. Yet.

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And, sometimes, it is hard not to be arrogant. Sometimes, you clearly know better than all of those idiots.

The trick here is not to fight it. But to forgive it.

Forgive yourself. Forgive them. And be grateful that you do know best …

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Now, what I’m saying here isn’t a great revelation. Most people are well aware that being seen as being arrogant is a real turn off.

And that’s why they pretend that they are not arrogant. By being really, really nice.

The trouble is that arrogance goes to the very core of our species. I haven’t yet met a human being who isn’t arrogant to at least some degree.

Well, if you think you are better than anyone, that is arrogance.

If you think that you are one of the good people, and, why are they always messing things up? That is arrogance.

And if you think that you are worse than everyone, that you are always messing things up, that is arrogance – disguised as humility.

It is arrogance because, essentially, you are saying, “I shouldn’t have to sort my own problems out. I will play the helpless victim, and then other people will sort my problems out for me.”

It is the height of arrogance to think that anyone – aside from yourself – should deal with your crap.

The fact that society deems that this kind of behaviour is okay, doesn’t mean that it is okay.

More so, as you are the one who is suffering, ultimately. You know, in your heart of hearts exactly what you are up to. And you know it stinks.

But because you are so damn arrogant, you won’t change. No, well, everyone else, they are just as bad …

Maybe so. And you will keep on suffering, until you start taking responsibility for your stuff. That is all.

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How do you break free of all of this? First of all, you acknowledge what an arrogant jerk you are. And you recognise how much you have suffered as a result of this. And then you forgive yourself.

You don’t try not to be arrogant. Because you will just end up pretending that you are not arrogant, and you will be right back where you started.

No, as above. First of all, you acknowledge what an arrogant jerk you are. And you recognise how much you have suffered as a result of this. And then you forgive yourself.

That is all.

© Phillip A. Klein March 2008