The questions you ask about life determine your life. Ask questions that are worthy of your grandest and highest vision.


If life really isn’t working out for you, ask different questions.

“What questions should I ask, Phil?”

That’s not a bad question to start with … An even better one would be to ask yourself: “What questions should I ask?”

But, seeing as you asked so nicely, I’ll be with you with exactly the questions you should ask, in a minute.

In the meantime …


If you are at a point in your life when nothing seems to be working out for you, no matter how hard you try, it might be because you are dealing with whatever life is throwing at you at effect – not cause.

That is, what appears on the surface to be the problem, isn’t really the problem. That is why it is on the surface. The real problem lies a whole lot deeper than that.

For example, I have a friend of mine who is obsessed with getting laid. I mentioned him in the section on OPTIMISM / PESSIMISM.

He thinks that if only he could get laid with some really “buff” women, that that would solve all his problems.

When, actually, what is really going on, is that he feels pretty bad about himself most of the time. And, because he feels so bad about himself, he is looking for something, anything, that will make him feel better.

In his mind, getting laid with some really “buff” women … that will make him feel better.

And so he spends his whole life obsessing about how he is going to achieve this goal of shagging some really “buff” women.

All of which has yielded pretty much endless frustration, despair and desperation for him.

As shagging those really “buff” women that he is after has, thus far, proved elusive. In fact, those times he has had sex he has ended up feeling really bad – because he hasn’t really performed as he would like. And because the women that he had sex with weren’t really “buff”.

So, for all his efforts to feel better about himself, he actually feels really bad about himself. Why? Because he is asking some really poor questions:

Instead of asking himself, “What will really make me happy and fulfilled in life? What kind of things will enable me to experience great joy and satisfaction in life?” he is asking himself, “Why can’t I get laid?”

To which the immediate answer is pretty much, “Because no woman finds you attractive enough to want to have sex with you.”

And why should women think him worthy of having sex with – given that he doesn’t think that he is worthy of having sex with them?

And it’s not even about women. The real issue is that he feels so bad about himself, that he will go to the most absurd lengths just so he can feel a little bit better about himself.

And, no matter how many times the universe bashes him on the head and says, “This isn’t it! Stop doing that!” he keeps on doing it.


So, if you can see that maybe you, too, have been dealing with your problems at effect, and that you haven’t really got anywhere, here is a practice that might help you get to the heart of the matter, to the very cause of what is really going on.

All that it involves is asking a series of questions. But, due to the fact that your life is directed and determined by the questions that you are asking (mostly unconsciously), this is a powerful and potentially life-changing practice. But, if you are going to take it on – take it on.

Commit to doing it precisely as it is laid out here.

Do this practice twice a day (morning and evening) for 21 days. Spend 15 minutes at each sitting asking the following 6 questions:

– What is the source of all my problems?

– How will I resolve it?

– What is the source of all my difficulties?

– How will I resolve it?

– What is the source of all my discomfort?

– How will I resolve it?

You want to ask each of these questions once a minute. So you ask a question, pause for about 5-10 seconds, and then ask the next question. And you keep on repeating these 6 questions for 15 minutes.

And once you’ve finished asking those questions, sit still for about 5-10 minutes, just be with your thoughts and feelings.

Now, as you ask the questions, your mind might come up with various answers. But pay no attention to this. There are many other sources – way more powerful than your mind – that lie within you.

This is where the real answers will come. In the most unexpected of ways – so let go of any expectations you might have. Put your ego to one side, and let a greater force come to your assistance.

The basis of this approach is very simple: As the Bible says: “Ask and ye shall receive” and “Seek and ye shall find”. This isn’t Biblical, or religious, or spiritual – it is very simply a matter of focusing your mind on where your problems in life really lie and how you will resolve them.

Notice the use of the word will in the question. You are telling your brain that you WILL resolve all this stuff. And that is what will happen.

Now, don’t expect to be “fixed” after 21 days. It doesn’t work like that. Firstly, there is nothing to fix. But, more than that, what asking these questions, consistently, twice a day, for 21 days will do, is provide an opening for you on what direction to go with your life.

It is then up to you to take the necessary actions to resolve whatever needs to be resolved. And this will take as short or as long as it will take. Just stay true to the answers you get.

© Phillip A. Klein March 2008

Published in: on March 17, 2008 at 9:15 am  Leave a Comment