The trouble with an argument is that even when you win you lose.


Here is what is really hilarious about most arguments. Most of the time, when people are arguing, it isn’t long before they forget what they are actually arguing about. All they know is that they have to win the argument. That they have to prove their point. Even if they can’t remember what their point is …

It is the fact that all of this is so automatic, and so habitual, that makes you think: “What is it with this species?” The fact that people get so carried away, having to win the argument, that they fail – even for one second – to think to themselves: “Is this really worth it? What is this actually achieving?”

Most arguments only end because one, or both parties, are wiped out. They no longer having the energy to continue. As all the while they seethe inside, and plot how best to stick the dagger in next time.

And then people wonder why they go through life completely drained, and needing caffeine and energy drinks to give them a boost?

You can do that. Or you could just ask yourself, “Is being right more important to me than my health and happiness?”


What is equally hilarious is those people who go out of their way to avoid having any arguments at all. There are many, many families that are built on this particular philosophy. And you can sense the frustration, the anxiety and the despair that runs through the very heart of these families. As all the life, all the energy, and all the vitality has been squashed out.

Still, seeing how ‘good’ and ‘well-behaved’ and ‘nice’ everyone is, having all the joy and all the juice of life choked to death, clearly, is a price worth paying.


What I am about to suggest is not realistic. Certainly not in the context of day to day life. But what has ‘realistic’ ever achieved? Just more of the bloody same, pretty much.

This is about stepping out. Busting through your barriers. Being greater, and more magnificent, than you think you are.

The context of this is as follows: if we were living in an ideal world, what would that look like?

Of course, an ideal world is not ‘realistic’. No matter. Imagining an ideal world gives us all something to aspire towards. The higher we aim the more we grow. The more we grow the more we rejoice in life.

That is the context which I am setting here. As follows:

Conceiving of the greatness within ourselves, no matter what. Is that realistic? Nope. Is it for the best? I would think so.

Conceiving of the greatness in everyone else, no matter what. Is that realistic? Hell no! Is it for the best? Definitely.

Conceiving of the greatness within all of life, no matter what. Is that realistic? Unlikely. Is it for the best? No doubt about it.

That is the essential, fundamental difference between believing that life is wonderful and seeing it as being horrible. Yes, maybe it is horrible. And do you really want to spend the rest of your life experiencing it like that? Well focus on something else then.

And this is why you must argue with every ounce of your being, for the greatest glory of who you are, who they are, and for the greatest glory of what life is.

If necessary argue with yourself, for as long as it takes, until you are ready to argue with every ounce of your being for the greatest glory of who you are, who they are, and for the greatest glory of what life is.

It is for the best …


Look, I could argue for misery, resentment, bitterness and depression as well as anyone. I am extremely proficient at that, after many years of experience. I could find all the reasons in the world why things are really, really bad. And I choose to commit to something else here. It is way more challenging and way more rewarding, ultimately.

© Phillip A. Klein March 2008

Published in: on March 13, 2008 at 4:43 pm  Comments (1)