ANGER

A lot of people shy away from their anger. Because, well, to be seen as being an “angry person” is not, generally, something that is considered very praiseworthy. In many cases, to express your anger openly is completely unacceptable within ‘decent’ society.

That is why we have “anger management” courses. And that is why we have contact sports, martial arts, etc. – so people can have a way to control their anger. Because they don’t want to be angry. Indeed, they are angry with being angry. Which means that, guess what, no matter how hard they try to be rid of their anger, they are still angry! No matter what.

But it’s not about getting rid of anything. If you try and suppress your anger, or fight your anger, it will just manifest in some other way, and probably in an even more unacceptable and frightening manner. Maybe when you are pissed. Or, maybe, when someone really triggers you in that way.

Be with your anger. That is the only way. Accept that you are angry, and just let your anger be there. Without condition. Without demanding that it go away, or that it change into something else, like ‘peace’ or ‘love’. No, feel it exactly as it is. And allow it to be there exactly as it is. And, sooner or later, it will pass. And then, and only then, will you be free of it.

When I say, let your anger be there, that doesn’t mean wallow or indulge in it. All of which is filling the space with your excretia. Yes, great, you feel a sense of release – but the rest of us are finding it very difficult not to gag. Such is the overwhelming rancidity of the metaphorical smell that you have just emitted. Keep it to yourself, okay?

Some people really get off on being angry. They really identify with being “Mr” or “Mrs Angry” because it is their way of exerting control on the world. Because, they know that some people will be so terrified of them – when they are angry – that they will do whatever they want – to stop them from being angry.

Many people who run very large corporations use this very approach to keep all their ‘underlings’ in line. And they might think, “I’m the boss, I can do whatever I want.”

But there is a greater boss, and he (or she) will keep you in check, one way or another. Ooh, is that another heart attack coming along, 15 or 20 years early?

But anger is as valid as any other energy. The same as fear, sadness, helplessness, hopelessness. Which are all part of the package that comes with being a human being. And, just as it is okay to experience all of these other emotions, it is totally okay to be angry if you are angry. So long as you don’t continue being angry when you stop being angry.

…………………

Anger is an energy. A very powerful energy. Whether it serves you or enslaves you, depends on how you use it. How you harness it.

If you harness it for the purposes of creativity and love, you will be consumed with a great passion and spirit, which will engulf everything in love.

If you use it to destroy others, it will destroy you. It will devour you with great wrath and fury, as you become embroiled in a battle to the very last, with all of your enemies. Such was the fate of Hitler and others.

At the core of anger is a love that has been spurned and seeks to be acknowledged. Such was the spirit of a fierce and bitter love that Gandhi used to free India from British rule. That Nelson Mandela used to end apartheid in South Africa.

Without some hint of anger, nothing much can be accomplished. With the force and power of anger, you can shift the axis of the world. For good, or not so good.

…………………

If you look at the state of the world, there is an awful lot you could get angry about. The key thing is to express that anger in a responsible manner. Out of a commitment to be free of it – and not because you get your kicks from attacking and belittling people.

If you allow yourself to get in touch with your anger, and you allow yourself to release it without any bitterness or resentment or rancour it has gone. And you will feel a sense of release and relief.

The trouble is that most people bottle their anger up, or they express it in a completely inappropriate manner. To assert themselves over other people. To make themselves feel powerful and in control.

Neither approach works. If you bottle your anger up, all your hatred and rage will be directed against yourself. And you will go through life with a permanent scowl on your face. Welcome to Western ‘Civilisation’. Which consists of millions of pissed off people who cannot express just how pissed off they are. Who pollute the atmosphere with their toxic thoughts about life. Who get cancer early and die.

Which obviously is much better than daring to upset other people … “Oo, they might not like me …” But what about the fact that you clearly do not like yourself? Isn’t that your primary concern here?

And those people who express their anger merely to assert their dominance, power and control over other people, leave other people feeling worthless, useless and hopeless. And, very simply, if you make other people feel small and pathetic that merely exposes just how small and pathetic you truly are.

If you are going to get angry at people, do so because you care about them. Because you can see how great they really are. Because you want them to realise that how they are currently living their lives falls way, way short of what they are capable of. Get angry with people out of love.

© Phillip A. Klein March 2008

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Published in: on March 13, 2008 at 4:41 pm  Leave a Comment  

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